officially missing you

I had a hard time waking up today. Might be because of the medicine that I'm taking ( for my 2 week old cough). The doctor warned me that it has a drowsing effect or might be another Friday weekend blues ... Its already 6 o'clock and I'm going to be late if I stayed snuggled in bed for another second. But when I finally had the courage to get out of it, I saw AJ's wide eyes looking at me. My first and obvious instinct is to go to his side. He smiled. I said "Good Morning, I love you" and he gargled back which I imitated and he gargled back again. I wish I can understand what he is saying to me. Every time he give me gummy smiles when I imitate the sound that he makes, it really feels great! ... its like he understands what I'm saying. It seems like time flies so fast when I'm spending time with him, its 6:30 am and I no longer care whether I'll be late for work. All I know is that I to be with my son. I feel guilty whenever we arrived home from work and he's already asleep. I want to be with him when he's awake... play with him and let him know that mommy loves him even if I'm away most of the time. I'm afraid that when he grows up he'll be more attached to the people at home who he spends more time with than me.

Bottom line, I miss him and being late for work does not matter to me as long as I spend time with him while his awake. Want him to feel my love and give him my full attention. Others may not understand what I'm feeling right now. I don't need to explain to them. Time spent away from him is time wasted. I just miss my son, period. I even missed his first roll over last September 1.

Here are some photos of the first milestone I missed.

AJ's first rolled over last Sept 1 at 2 months and 3 weeks old.