Women and Love

Before You Can Attract A Good Man's Love, You First Have to Truly LOVE Good Men. This is the subject title of the email that my friend Maya shared to me via email. She thought I could share it to some friends. But I'd rather post it here so that, one day, when a woman in need of Love searched the internet about it, she'll come across this post and learn a thing or two.

by Aileen Santos on Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 8:50 am.

Because they've been hurt too many times, many women have unconsciously set up a barrier between themselves & men. And although they do believe they want to have a relationship with a man, the problem often lies in the unconscious truth that... they don't really like men very much.

It sounds crazy when I put it this way. But it's what's actually happening, if you really think about it.

It's like that scene in Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

"Men are Evil!" Anya told Xander vehemently, then after a beat she asked: "Will you go out with me?"

 Today the media -- tv shows, advertisements, easily accessible porn -- and many women are giving men EXTREMELY mixed messages through their words, actions, and examples:

"Women can do whatever men can do, so we don't need you." WITH "Where are the real men when you need them?"

"Men are clueless and stupid and need women to fix them up." WITH "I need a man to lead me."

"Men don't need to pursue us anymore, these are modern times, we women can pursue them." WITH "How come men don't know how to commit?"

"Men don't need to earn our love anymore, we'll sleep with them for free, they don't even need to remember my name." WITH "I just want a man who truly loves me for who I am, and stay long enough to grow old with me."

Isn't it any wonder that even Good Men are now confused?

Although Men are biologically & psychologically designed to be Providers, Protectors, Leaders & Warriors, society has been telling them that we no longer need them to provide for us, we don't need them to lead us, we don't need them to grow in character and be strong for us - we don't even need them to respect us.

We have essentially taken away their identity. And Women have also suffered in the process.

The good news is, the solution lies within the same problem.

Because Men were DESIGNED to respond to Women. ;-)

When a man behaves in a certain way towards women, it's because the women in his life have trained him to believe that "it's what works." That behavior could be good, or bad. Either way, it was inspired by women and reinforced by women.

"Behind every successful man is a woman."

This quote implies that it's a woman's influence that inspires a man towards success & greatness.

I agree with this... which is why I know the opposite is also true:

"Behind every unmotivated & dejected man... is also a woman."

If there are men in your life who are jerks... you have to truly be honest with yourself and find out how you are (unconsciously) giving them "permission" to be that way. Because once you become aware of this, you can start changing this.

Whatever kind of behavior a man is used to doing right now -- as long as he is a Good Man at heart -- the important women in his life can always influence him in the way he was designed to go: towards being a Protector, Provider, Leader, and Warrior once again.

This is why the world is in NEED of Fabulous Women who could reignite men's hearts, and inspire them to reclaim their place in the world.

- Women who will naturally inspire men to respect & value them, because they clearly respect & value themselves.

- Women who will inspire men to step up as leaders, because they know how to support their challenging journey towards leadership.

- Women who will naturally invite men to pursue them and build strength of character as they do, because character is what they also value most in men.

- Women who will love men as they are -- human beings who don't have everything figured out yet, just like them -- and inspire them to be greater versions of who they are because of their gentle & loving acceptance.

Some women can keep on blaming men, and demand that they shape up without them having to do anything different.

But that's exactly the definition of insanity:

Doing the exact same thing you've done before, and expecting a different result.

Dear Women, let's be more Fabulous from now on.

Because when we do, EVERYONE wins.

:-)

Aileen Santos is a Relationship Coach based in Manila, Philippines. She is on facebook. Like her. http://www.facebook.com/coachaileensantos 

xoxo.

S