Twenty Eleven

This year was one of those sweet bitter years of my life. A lot has happened both in my career and in my personal life. A lot of first if I may say. But as I look back the past 12 months, it was a challenging year for me as a working woman, a mother. I’m about to type the word wife, but honestly, it’s my marriage that stayed normal this year. The usual disappointments are here and there but it’s not a big deal that you can’t brush it off or sleep off. 

Looking back...

Finally at the beginning of the year, my coveted promotion has been a reality. I am no longer an OIC; I was a full-pledge supervisor. I so remember it clearly when I was applying for the position 3 years ago and they said that I need to improve on my numbers and let management notice me and not just be a wallflower. Now that I am where I am, I think it’s not all about the numbers at all… its about showing people that you can do the job and get the job done.

But there is one part of the job that I don’t like, recruitment. The selection process, screening and interviewing.  Because I am afraid to fail. Decoding people at the onset if he or she will succeed when he she is on the floor is not my cup of tea. They can be great at what they do in their previous work, but how do I guarantee that they will be too in this company?

Of course if there is sourcing, then hiring and then there is the evaluation after 4 months. But what if after 4 months, he she made your worst nightmare a reality… and you need to let them go because of the expectations were not met...and the worst part is telling them they are done. That was hard. It was the most stressful week of the entire year… too stressed that I couldn’t sleep and on my way to work, I felt that God was talking to me in the sign of adverts on trucks, billboards and even dreams.  I do believe that I did all I could to fight for his place on the team but at the end, I also need to do what needs to be done. It’s no longer a personal decision.

And there was the loss of a mentor. Not death but she left and went back to where her passion is. But this I know she did because of her family and that she’ll be happy. She believed in me and that is all I need to be able to get through this challenges in my career… without her to guide me and assure that everything will turn out the way it should be. But as she left, our team stand alone and with a single Light House that guided us… I came through twenty eleven alive. I am but with scratches and bruises.

There was also our son’s nanny who was the only one who stayed the longest… almost a year and a half. It’s unfortunate for us but I guess it’s fortunate for her because she got pregnant but then eventually needs to leave us due to her condition. And so I turn back to the person I know who is there for me and will never turn her back on me when I need her. My Mother. – I couldn’t juggle being a working mom without her. I am not a trusting person when it comes to my son and with my mom around; I know my son is in good hands.

Saving the best for last, it’s come to my understanding that we have already formed a family trip schedule which is every 2 years. The last time we were in a family holiday was our beach outing at Laiya in 2009 and in 2011; we went to Singapore for the F1 Grand Prix and Universal Studios. And as a bonus, I met for the first time, a mom, a wife, a talented Random House published novel writer, a Pinay, Samantha Sotto, author of Before Ever After at her book signing event in Singapore. It was a vacation week full of family bonding, free concert (Shaggy, Shakira, Linkin Park at the SG F1 After Race Party) and zero work. And the next trip will again be in 2013 – Finally Boracay or Palawan with hubby’s brother and his family who are coming home from the States before their eldest goes to college.

And so before I look forward to that trip in 2013, I’m opening great possibilities for 2012. Same role, different team. What to expect? I don’t know. But what I am sure of is that, this was given to me because they believe in me and that I can do the job and the job will get done. And I don’t want to fail.

Because I am no longer a wallflower.

xoxo.